The Football Monologues

2006-10-23T09:46:00.000-04:00

THE NEW OFFICIAL SITE HAS LAUNCHED... www.thefootballmonologues.com

I am open to any ideas or suggestions that you may have because I am just learning this whole html thang!

2006-10-20T08:01:00.000-04:00

IF THE GLOVE FITS...

OJ Simpson is reportedly writing a ficticious hypothetical book about his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson's murder for $3.5 million, according to the National Enquirer. I know it is not the most reliable news source in the world but they claim that he is naming the book "If I did it" and is discussing how it would have went down had he really committed the crime. I dont know if this is gonna be a "How to" book but I guess in his mind any PR is good PR.

2006-10-20T07:55:00.000-04:00

NIK'S HOT PICKS OF THE WEEK

Liquor before Beer

Jaguars over Texans

Jets over Lions

Cardinals over Raiders

Colts over Redskins

Eagles over the Bucs

Broncos over the Browns

Seahawks over Vikings

Beer before Liquor

Patriots over the Bills

Dolphins over the Packers

Falcons over the Steelers

Cowboys over Giants

Chargers over the Chiefs

Bengals over Carolina Panthers

** Monologues are not responsible for any financial losses that may result from relying on these picks of the week

2006-10-20T07:47:00.000-04:00

SO FRESH AND SO CLEAN CLEAN

Freshen up on your week 7 NFL knowledge...

The Packers have lost to 7 of their last 8 AFC opponents
The first and last time Falcons QB Michael Vick played against the Steelers he completed a career-high 24 passes and tied in 2002 (last NFL tie)
New England has won 5 straight and 10 of 11 against Buffalo... good luck McGuru
The Cardinals lead the league in first quarter points with 59
The Broncos have scored just 62 points in 5 games, tied for second-fewest in NFL
The Giants and Cowboys are tied for fourth in the NFL in rushing- This is the hot game of the week!!!

2006-10-19T18:13:00.000-04:00

UPSET OF THE WEEK

McGuru had his first good week last week with Tennessee over Washington. However not every week can be the week of upsets so lets see if our guru can start a winning streak with Buffalo over New England. This is certainly not impossible. Division games are always intense and can produce unexpected results. Buffalo will have to Billeave.

2006-10-19T09:30:00.000-04:00

FOOTBALL 101- TIMING IS EVERYTHING

A typical football game is divided into 15-minute quarters. However, games usually last about three hours because the game-clock which displays the amount of time left in each quarter (in seconds) is stopped many times in the game for various reasons (a team scores, someone goes out of bounds, a receiver drops the ball, injury, timeout, etc). The quarter ends when the game-clock counts down to zero, though any play still unfolding when the clock finishes will be seen until its completion.

After the first two quarters of the game there is a 12-minute intermission called the "halftime." This is when you go to the bathroom, grab the chips, walk the dogs, and least importantly, this is when the players get a chance to rest and enjoy the painkillers.

Unlike the end of other quarters, the end of the second quarter (i.e. the end of the half) signifies a 'semi-restart' of the game. Normally when a regular quarter ends, the game-clock is reset and the next play continues as if there was never an official break in the game.

However, after the halftime a new kickoff begins the third quarter. Whichever team received the ball in the first kickoff of the game will now be kicking the ball. Each half is like its own mini game. The teams timeouts get replenished and the teams switch sides on the field so that their the endzones they defend now become the opponent's endzone.

2006-10-19T09:17:00.000-04:00

THE BARBERSHOP

Tiki Barber, who leads the NFL in rushing with 533 yards has got NY Giants fans going crazy with his recent talk of retirement. Barber, who is leaning towards retiring after this season says "I've been considering it for a few years now. It comes a point where your body just doesn't want to to take it anymore. I'm excited about the rest of my life..."

Although he has done well for me this fantasy football season, as a true Eagles fan i must say... Make Like A Tree and Get The Hell Out Of Here!!!

2006-10-18T10:03:00.000-04:00

SCOOP, SCOOP BA DOOP

While celebrities are nothing new to Monday Night Football, (John Lennon back in the day, Charles Barkley, Jamie Foxx and so on...) next week is when the PR stunt is expected to get interesting. Monday night, the 23rd, the Cowboys will play the Giants and actress Sanaa Lathan will be the lucky one to chat with ESPN announcers during the game. I wonder how she got that gig? Rumored girlfriend of Terrell Owens better spill the gossip during next week's broadcast or else there is just simply no point in her making an appearance. Somehow i dont think "boxers or briefs??" is gonna be the hot topic of the night.

2006-10-17T08:13:00.000-04:00

WOAH THERE... WOOOOOAHHHH THERE

Caption this contest... who can come up with a classic name for this photo?!

2006-10-17T08:07:00.000-04:00

FANTASY FOOTBALL NEWS

Looks like Shaun Alexander might miss more games than expected. Although his x-ray showed great healing in his ankle yesterday, Alexander can be expected to ride the bench against Minnesota this coming Sunday. The team is now estimating that he will miss perhaps 2 more weeks.
The NFL trading deadline is today at 4pm, Oakland is 0-5, Moss has just 17 catches and has pulled that T.O. potty mouth on both his coaches and his teammates. Will moves be made??
Curtis Martin will remain on the physically-unable-to-perform list until at least after the Jets game against Cleveland in two weeks.

2006-10-17T07:58:00.000-04:00

BEARS OFF TO THEIR BEST START IN 20 YEARS

Going into last night's game I thought for sure that Leinert was going to pull off this huge win against Chicago seeing as how this was the week of NFL upsets!! Before the game started my brother had mentioned that he needed Rex Grossman to do well if he is gonna win his fantasy football game this week. We then went on to discuss how I needed the Bears defense to help me win both of my leagues and that it shouldnt be a problem considering how well the Bears D have been playing lately.

"I've never played so bad and won a game like that," said the Bears quarterback, who threw four interceptions and lost two fumbles. "It was unbelievable."

So you can imagine with -6 fantasy points for Rex Grossman how the night turned out for my brother... not good! As for me, the fantasy gods were on my side in the second half when the defense decided to score two touchdowns with a third TD from the punt return. Neil Rackers is kicking himself (hopefully not too hard) as he thinks about his game-losing missed field goal. I am now 5-1 in both of my fantasy football leagues... huge comeback from last season where i sat in last place all season long!!!

2006-10-16T09:58:00.000-04:00

Do these guys not have people coordinating their outfits? I can see why the old guy wants to wear a hot pink tie... it's trendy and it would look good if he wasn't standing next to a closet that threw up. I dont dig the blue sport coat and thats probably why I am being harsh on Troy. Standing alone these men may look fine, but does nobody at Fox realize how horribly they clash?

2006-10-16T09:43:00.000-04:00

WINLESS NO MORE

This was truly the week of upsets as Oakland is now the only team in the NFL that has not picked up a W. The Guru has picked up his first win of the season with Tennessee beating Washington at home and the Ravens saw their first loss as Carolina stormed in for their fourth straight win. The Eagles had fans on the edge of their seat until they had to eat a 12 men on the field penalty which basically hammered the nail into their coffin against New Orelans. The Detroit Lions picked up their first win against the Buffalo Bills as Roy Willians had 10 receptions for 161 yards- both career highs. The Tampa Bay Bucs conquered the Cincinnati Bengals in the last 35 seconds of the game. The touchdown reception was initially ruled incomplete but was overturned by the replay that showed Clayton firmly catching the ball as he soared through the air. TO got his chance to gloat on the Dallas star with 3 TD's against against the Houston Texans.

So, who is rootin for the Cardinals?

2006-10-13T12:36:00.001-04:00

FUNNIEST NON-FOOTBALL RELATED PICTURE OF THE WEEK

2006-10-13T10:36:00.000-04:00

NIKS HOT PICKS OF THE WEEK

Paying 400 a ticket to see Madonna- totally worth it

Cincinatti over Tampa Bay

Dallas over Houston

Eagles over New Orleans

San Diego over San Fran
Denver over Oakland
Chicago over Arizona

Paying 200 a ticket to see Barbara Streisand- could be worth it

Buffalo over Detroit

Baltimore over Carolina

Seattle over St. Louis

Paying 50 bucks to see American Idol in concert- I personally would pay way more than that but i assume most readers here think this is the same as throwing money away

Washington over Tennessee

Pittsburgh over Kansas City

Jets over Miami

Giants over Atlanta

2006-10-13T09:07:00.000-04:00

WEEK 6 STUDY SESSION

Here are some water cooler conversation starters or as George Costanza prefers: coffee machine conversation starters:

The Houston Texans are one of two teams the Cowboys have never beaten. The Ravens are the other.
Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick has just 15 fewer rushing yards than Tiki Barber.
Titans RB Travis Henry's 123 yards last week nearly doubled the team's previous season high. Wow, the Titans kinda suck.
The Eagles lead the NFL with 23 sacks, including 7 against the Cowboys last week.
The Bengals have not beaten Tampa Bay since 1989.
Chiefs QB in for Trent Green, Damon Huard, was named offensive player of the week. My husband put him in this week in fantasy football, pure luck!
The Broncos have won 12 straight regular season games at home, which is tied with Seattle for the longest streak in the NFL.

2006-10-12T19:19:00.000-04:00

WAS IT (HAYNES)WORTH IT?

NASHVILLE, TN—Defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth, suspended five games by the NFL for stomping on the head and kicking the face of Cowboys center Andre Gurode last Sunday, issued a statement this morning saying he "just wanted to make absolutely sure [Gurode] was dead for good." "The Titans pay me to do one thing out there—kill anyone who gets in my way," said Haynesworth, who is serving the longest suspension for on-field actions in league history for his attempted murder. "Doing a thorough job is just good fundamentals… On your first day of high-school ball, they tell you football's no more than blocking, tackling, and bodily assault with the intent to commit homicide." League officials have suggested that Haynesworth's suspension also include anger-management therapy and a refresher course in the rules and principles of football.

quoted from www.TheOnion.com

2006-10-12T09:28:00.000-04:00

TUNED IN

Fox pulled in a 13.9 national rating (22.1 million viewers) for Sunday's TO bowl between the Cowboys and the Eagles. That was higher than NBC's Sunday night primetime game between San Diego and Pittsburgh, and second only to "Grey's Anatomy" for the week.

I must say, I love that Grey's is still first!

2006-10-12T09:11:00.000-04:00

FOOTBALL 101- THE SCREEN PASS

When the quarterback steps up to the center and prepares to start the play, he has a lot of work to do. His first job is to look at which defensive players are on the field and where they are, and try to deduce what the defense is going to try to do. He may see signs that the defense is lined up perfectly to stop his play. In this case, the quarterback will call out an "audible." He will shout out code words that tell the other players on his team that he is changing the play.

If the defense is rushing at him with great success and causing him a lot of problems, the quarterback will use several screen passes to slow them down. In the screen pass, a couple of the offensive linemen will pull away from the line and run out to one side of the field. The running back will also run to that same side of the field, perhaps ten feet behind the offensive linemen. Because the two linemen pulled, there is an unprotected path to the quarterback and there will almost certainly be a couple of drooling defensive linemen running at the quarterback, visions of ambulances dancing in their heads.

The quarterback's job is to backpedal as quickly as he can, drawing these two linemen and hopefully a linebacker or two in his direction. Just a fraction of a second before they can hit him, the quarterback will toss the ball to the waiting running back, who can now lumber up the field with 700 pounds of offensive linemen in front of him to protect him. This play, if executed well, will often go for a 15 to 30 yard gain, which is a big black eye for the defense. After a couple of these plays, when the defensive linemen break through the offensive line they will hesitate and look to their sides to see if they are being tricked. So the screen pass is a useful tool to slow down the the defensive line.

2006-10-12T09:05:00.000-04:00

UPSET OF THE WEEK

I think McGuru has officially resorted to aiming for a winless season. He is going into week 6 with 5 losses; will he succeed? This week's pick is Tennessee over Washington. If this game was in Tennessee I would say that maybe McGuru has a chance of picking up his first win... but the Redskins at home? That might be asking a little too much. This is my own personal suicide pool; if I'd been betting on McGuru's upsets of the week I would want to kill myself by now.

Let me know what you think this week's upset of the week is... maybe I will start auditioning for next year's McGuru.

2006-10-11T09:26:00.001-04:00

PA Bar Results come out today so my productivity is non-existent... check back later this afternoon for new posts.

2006-10-10T15:06:00.000-04:00

LEEE- TOE

Lito Sheppard, from the Philadelphia Eagles defense, had his second career 100+ yard interception return for a touchdown making him the only player in NFL history to accomplish that.

Go Birds!

2006-10-10T08:40:00.000-04:00

FOOTBALL 101- SPECIAL EDITION

Football 101 is usually reserved for the thursday spot but I heard something last night that sparked the need for a week 5 Special Edition. Last night my mom's friend informed me that while my mom was watching the Eagles game she inquired about the purpose of a field goal. At first I laughed and wondered how she lived with my dad for 25 years without knowing what a field goal was, but then i realized this may be a common question amongst women across America.

This reminds me of the day when i found out what the blue line was in professional hockey... changed my whole perspective.

THE FIELD GOAL: So the basic premise of defensive football is to stop the opposition from collecting first downs. Their goal is to prevent the opposition from gaining 10 yards and to force them to punt, getting the ball back for the offense. If the defense cannot stop a team from moving the football down the field, then their next task is to keep the opposition out of the end zone. A field goal is worth only 3 points, where as a touchdown is worth 6 points (plus one extra pt- totaling 7). If the offense is gettin close to scoring but cannot seem to get the touchdown on the first 3 downs (attempts), the next best option on 4th down, instead of punting the ball away, is to go for a 3 point field goal to at least put some points on the board.

Field goals become even more important during overtime. The first team to score in overtime wins. So all a team needs to do is get far enough down the field to put the kicker in a good position to snag those 3 game-winning points.

Stay tuned on thursday for Football 101- The Screen Pass.

2006-10-10T08:18:00.000-04:00

FANTASY FOOTBALL FLAVA

The New England Patriots signed former Eagles wide receiver Jabar Gaffney yesterday. He will be filling a desperate void on the New England offense and is therefore someone to think about if your wide receiver slot is hurting, but keep in mind he has not been on any team's roster for the first 5 weeks of the NFL season. As an Eagles fan I like that other teams are digging through our dirty laundry to try and strengthen their team mid-season.

Watch out for any offensive fantasy football player on the Arizona Cardinals, except for maybe Neil Rackers. Pro bowl receiver Larry Fitzgerald will not play for 2-5 weeks due to a hamstring injury. With their offense losing their number 1, we can expect Matt Leinert, Antwon Boldin, and Edgerrin James to be hurting this week as well. Just something to keep in mind.

2006-10-09T12:05:00.000-04:00

THE BUFFALO JILL'S

You may remember a week or so back I mentioned the professional Cheerleader competition? Yes, it really does exist. The picture above is one of the winners of this week's competition. Her opponents were cheerleaders from Minnesota, Houston, and Philadelphia.

The first event was the 100 yard football relay race and the Buffalo babes celebrated their win by spiking the football (as shown on tv). The second race would have been hilarious to watch since one of the Buffalo Jill's had received her first swimming lesson just days before the competition. Finally, round 3 consists of "Know your NFL." This time the girls had to Bring It On in a 90 second relay where they must match the 32 NFL logos to the team names. Both the Jills and the Vikings matched all the teams, but the Jills did it 10 seconds faster for the big WIN.

Once again the Bears logo was trouble for the ladies from Philly and Houston, which is quite surprising considering the logo is a "C" as in Chicago. I can't imagine how that one was overlooked.

2006-10-09T08:49:00.000-04:00

Eagles 1, Terrell Owens 0

The chorus of boos and "O.D." chanting is exactly what we were expecting to hear as Terrell Owens arrived back at the Linc for the first time as a Dallas Cowboy. Even though #81 jerseys were burned in the pre-game parking lot and people brought signs that read "TO is for Terrorism," the very quiet receiver reports last night that it was not as bad as he expected. The Birds held Owens to 3 measely catches for only 45 yards and yet he still could not keep his mouth shut about Bledsoe while talking to the press. "You watched the game. Who's pulling the trigger?" was TO's response when asked if he was let down by Bledsoe's performance. Eagles' fans went home happy and TO went to CVS to refill his prescription. This is gonna be quite a fight for the NFC East Division title.

2006-10-09T08:23:00.000-04:00

SUMMIN' IT UP IN 60 SECONDS

Colts won their 7th in a row against Tennessee, maintaining their undefeated status
Shut out in the endzone in his first four games as a pro, Reggie Bush returned a key punt for 65 yards with under 5 mins to lift the New Orleans to victory over Tampa Bay
Matt Leinert's first NFL game as a starter started and ended fabulously but the Chiefs have Larry Johnson and his big play gave the Chief's another win.
The Jets forgot to show up yesterday against the Jags and put up a big fat 0
The Bears are 5-0 for the first time in 20 years
Terrell Owens did nothing, which is no surprise, considering the Eagles defense sacked Bledsoe 7 times and created over 3 turnovers
The Giants harassed Brunell into completing only 12 out of 22 passes for big division win against the Redskins.

2006-10-06T08:49:00.000-04:00

UPSET OF THE WEEK

Looks like my guru is softening up, cant handle the idea of being 0-5 with his upset of the week picks. This week my brother-in-law has chosen the Oakland Raiders over the San Francisco 49ers. I personally do not think that this is much of an upset. This is basically Oakland's last chance to not be shut out for the season so they better step it up and give McGuru his first correct pick of the season.

If you win this weeks pick your grand prize is an all inclusive week in this Oakland Raiders bedroom. Double DD Cheerleaders not included.

2006-10-06T08:23:00.000-04:00

60 SECOND STUDY SESSION

Its week of 5 of the 2006 season, time to really sharpen up your NFL expertise. Study up these few tidbits and you will be chattin up with the bosses at the water cooler in no time.

Detroit hasnt won in Minnesota since 1997 and has lost 8 straight overall to the Vikings, um, yea, good luck!
Patriots QB Tom brady average over 1 interception per game against the Dolphins.
The TB Bucs are averaging an NFL worst 43.3 yards rushing through three games.
Donovan McNabb is on pace for a 36 touchdown, four interception season.
TO has caught 3 touchdowns against the Eagles in 5 career games totaling 307 yards.
The 49ers have allowed the most points in the NFL (126)
Denver has won 11 straight home games... so Baltimore better bring it!!!

2006-10-05T10:01:00.000-04:00

NIK'S HOT PICKS OF THE WEEK

Place $100 on the Green 0 or 00

Philadelphia over Dallas

Indianapolis over Tennessee

Chicago over Buffalo

St. Louis over Green Bay

Place $50 on Red

Minnesota over Detroit

Carolina over Cleveland

Kansas City over Arizona

Jacksonville over Jets

New Orleans over Tampa Bay

New England over Miami

Your gonna need your money on red and black to win with these

San Diego over Pittsburgh

Baltimore over Denver

Oakland over San Fran

2006-10-05T08:02:00.000-04:00

FOOTBALL 101

The Center- a key position on the offensive line

My grandmother requested that I post this picture above to indicate which position I am talking about. The center is the red dot. He squats over the ball and when the quarterback gives him the signal, he whips it up and holds it out between his legs just under his behind for the quarterback to grab. Talk about an awkward moment!

Actually, this guy does a heck of a lot more than that. He is the first line of defense for the quarterback. Theoretically, all a defender needs to do is leap-frog the center to be down the throat of the quarterback. This would be a bad thing. You never see this done, because these guys at center wouldn't be those guys at center if they were slow and wimpy enough to let that happen.

These guys are tough - think about it. There you are, squatting on the field, knowing the minute you shove that ball out of your behind, a 300-pound gorilla is going to come pounding in from a foot away with the intention of making a pancake out of you.

I wouldn't take the job!!

2006-10-04T07:58:00.000-04:00

FANTASY FOOTBALL FLAVA OF THE WEEK

Donovan McNabb is back and better than ever. I am not just saying this because I am a Philadelphia Eagles Fan... the numbers say it all. Donovan has put up a total of 105 fantasy points so far this season and the next highest is Peyton Manning with only 79. On Monday Night against the Green Bay Packers, Donovan proved to the entire league that he can still run with the ball under pressure and that when he does run, he is one dangerous dude. With 5 carries for 47 yards Donovan takes home 2 TD's and a big win.

**This endorsement is not paid for by Campbell's Soup...

...but I certainly wish it was.

2006-10-04T07:49:00.000-04:00

TERREL OWEN'S NEW CATCH

Supposedly Dallas Cowboy's receiver Terrel Owens has been dating actress Sanaa Lathan (pronounced Sinatra without the "tra") for some time now. Sanaa is an actress previously seen in the movie Love & Basketball (my fav movie!!!), The Best Man, and made a few appearances on the TV show Nip/Tuck. The word on the street is that they met through his publicist. There was a rumor floating around that Owens was engaged, but that is just a rumor and is probably over two months old by now.

2006-10-03T10:08:00.000-04:00

PROJECT RUNWAY

Think Michael and Ulli could've designed a better NFL referee uniform than this?? Gone are the traditional vertical black-and-white stripes that have been a staple of the league seemingly since its inception and that live on in Foot Locker stores and DJ booths around the country. In their place is a flashier look that features wide white stripes and thin black stripes that flare around the shoulders and upper arms.

Before you decide whether or not you are a fan of the new look here is the "why" behind the change:

lightweight, more efficient fabric that would be cooler in hot weather and warmer in cold weather

the uniforms more easily accommodate the gear referees need to carry, which includes more layers of clothing in colder weather

The third reason was to give the uniforms a more modern, updated, distinctly NFL look

What would Michael Kors and Nina Garcia think??

2006-10-03T08:49:00.000-04:00

SUMMIN' IT UP IN 60 SECONDS

Eagles fumbled twice in the first half making Westbrook more and more valuable by the day. Luckily McNabb stepped up and had his first game with two running TD’s.

San Francisco suffered their biggest shutout in 49ers history while Tony Gonzalez extended his streak of games with at least one reception to 87... 4th longest streak among tight ends in NFL history.

There were 3 TD’s in the final 2 minutes and 34 seconds of the Indianapolis game. Can you believe the Jets could have won that game if it weren’t for a last minute fumble??

Arizona’s only score against Atlanta came on Adrian Wilson's team-record 99-yard interception return. Needless to say, Matt Leinhart will be starting next week for the Cardinals instead of oldie Kurt Warner.

Baltimore is still undefeated after they shut down Tomlinson and the San Diego Chargers.

Carolina won by the skin of their teeth and it was the third time in the past 10 years that New Orleans started out 3-0 but lost game No. 4.

Laurence Maroney made quite the appearance for New England in Cincinnati with two TD’s and the win.

I have no idea how this happened, but Washington beat Jacksonville. Must’ve been Santana Moss’s 3 TD’s that finally gave the Jaguars their first loss.

2006-10-03T07:45:00.000-04:00

YEAH, BUT...

Did anyone's fantasy football team get screwed by the Eagles' last minute decision not to play Brian Westbrook last night? If so, you are not alone.

This week I had one of those fantasy football games that I had mentioned about a week ago... "a must win." This time I was playing my husband, who is not only the commissioner of the league, but he also started the season 3-0, with the most points scored in the entire league. I was up by 53 points going into last night's game but he had Brian Westbrook, Dante Stallworth, and LJ Smith. Could you tell he is an Eagles fan??

It was going to be a very close call (we were head to head all weekend) until the Eagles announced that Westbrook would not play. By this point it was too late for my husband to put another player in from his bench, so needless to say... I won! Normally I would scream and cheer, jump around the room, do whatever i have to do to rub it in. But this was more of a "Yeah, But" kind of win and those are so much less fun. Everytime i laugh or smirk to indicate that I am better at the sport of fantasy football then he is... he replies with, "Yeah, but if I had Westbrook in..."

It was a big win; we are both 3-1 now, but still, Andy Reid's last minute decision took out all the fun and glory.

2006-09-29T15:07:00.000-04:00

NFL CRIBS

A monologue fan emailed me recently suggesting that I check out ATT Home Turf webisodes. These online video clips are basically MTV cribs for NFL football stars. They show where and how they live, all the cool things their house has, and they even check their answering machine to see what kind of greeting they leave for their incoming callers. I found it very entertaining so if you are interested in checking it out, here is the link to Ladanian Tomlinson's webisode. If you enjoy it there are more to come so check back.

http://seehowtheylive.com/lTomlinson.php

2006-09-29T09:48:00.000-04:00

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN NFL PLAYERS RETIRE

What happens when a career ends, and the bright lights, the fame, and the fortune are no longer there? What then? For many players, making the transition to life after football is a difficult one.

Consider this:

65% of NFL players leave the game with permanent injuries. This is particularly disturbing when you consider that the average NFL career is only four years.
25% experience financial difficulties in their first year of retirement.
78% are unemployed, bankrupt, or divorced within two years of playing their last game.
The suicide rate for NFL players, whether active or retired, is six times higher than the national average.

2006-09-29T09:26:00.000-04:00

60 SECOND STUDY SESSION

Impress the best this sunday with your 2006 NFL knowledge:

Kurt Warner, QB for the Arizona Cardinals, is 6-0 against Atlanta in his career, but he has not played them since 2002 and he has had 9 turnovers in the past two weeks
Houston's QB David Carr is leading the NFL with a passer rating of 113.6
San Fran 49ers have lost 7 straight on the road against AFC teams.
The NE Patriots have not lost back to back games since December 2002
Cleveland and Raiders QB have 6 career touchdown passes combined... should be an interesting game

2006-09-29T08:33:00.000-04:00

UPSET OF THE WEEK

My 0-2 Grey's Anatomy watching Sports Guru has chosen Detroit over the St. Louis Rams as his upset of the week. I dont really know what he is thinking with this one considering Tory Holt and Isaac Bruce finally broke out last week with 11 combined catches for 199 yards. I think he needs to get his head checked out by Mc Dreamy asap!

2006-09-28T12:26:00.000-04:00

WHAT IS THE MADDEN CURSE ALL ABOUT?

Now that Shaun Alexander broke his foot, everyone has been talking about this Madden Curse. So this is for all the ladies who have been hearin about it but have just been afraid to ask what it actually is.

John Madden Football has consistently been one of the top selling video games in North America every year. So the curse is where the player (and his team) that grace the front cover of John Madden Football end up having a sub par season the following year. Here are some stats:

2007- Shaun Alexander breaks his foot
2006-Donovan McNabb sufferred a hernia and was out for the season after game 9
2005-Ray Lewis is said to have avoided the curse but his numbers were way down and he did not record an interception all season, first time in his career
2004- Michael Vick missed the first 11 games with a broken leg
2003-Marshal Faulk this was his worst season since 1996
2002-Daunte Culpepper missed 4 games and Minnesota has its worst record since 1984

Well... you get the point.

2006-09-28T09:26:00.000-04:00

NIK'S HOT PICKS OF THE WEEK

Advance to Boardwalk and hit up Free Parking along the way

Indianapolis over Jets

Dallas over Tennessee

Philadelphia over Green Bay

Take a ride on the Reading

Houston over Miami

Buffalo over Minnesota

Carolina over New Orleans

San Diego over Baltimore

St Louis over Detroit

Jacksonville over Washington

Cincinnati over New England

Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200

Arizona over Atlanta

San Francisco over Kansas City

Cleveland over Oakland

Seattle over Chicago

2006-09-28T08:41:00.000-04:00

Football 101

Understanding the downs is probably the biggest key to understanding football. You must learn these basics before you can really enjoy the game.

• Basically, a down is 1 play. From the time the ball is snapped (put into play), to the time the play is whistled over by the officials, is considered one down.
• A team's offense is given four downs (or 4 plays) to try and move ten yards toward the opponent's end zone.
• If they make the ten yards needed within four downs, they are given a new set of downs. This is called getting a first down.
• If they don't make the required ten yards, the other team's offense takes possession of the ball.

The first play of a series is called first-and-ten because it is the first down and 10 yards are needed to receive a new set of four downs.
• Suppose on the first play, the team on offense picks up three yards. The next play would then be second-and-seven, because it is the second play of the set and they still need seven yards to get a first down.

2006-09-27T10:06:00.000-04:00

TO, TO, TO

This morning: I am not going to joke about how bad it must be to be a Dallas Cowboy because that would just be in poor taste. So if you want to read more about TO's suicide attempt check out... bloggingtheboys.com

This afternoon: To clear things up this is an excerpt from his press conference:

I want to dispell the rumors... TO was not coherent to speak... The reason I called 911 was bc he was not his normal self... I did not say TO was depressed and TO did not say he was depressed... I used my judgment to call 911... I'm upset they took advantage of TO (police? Media?)... He had an allergic reaction... He was in a lot of pain... It's been a really long night I don't remember so much... TO has 25 million reasons not to committ suicide

2006-09-27T08:29:00.000-04:00

Corny- Yet Slightly Entertaining

Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his Quarter back.

Q: Why are football stadiums always cool?
A: Because they're full of fans.

Q: Why is the Oakland Raiders football team like a possum?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

2006-09-27T08:12:00.000-04:00

FANTASY FOOTBALL FLAVA OF THE WEEK

My husband is going to kill me when he finds out that I am exploiting his fantasy football secret weapon the day before waivers go through but this is an important fantasy tip if you are in need of a running back. As we all heard, Shaun Alexander, MVP and "Madden '07" coverboy, will be out for a few weeks with a broken foot. His back up, Maurice Morris, has been off the radar so far this season and should now be on the top of everyone's "must add" list. Because Alexander, however, is such a great player, you cannot drop him. Therefore, this is only a good move if you have someone on your bench that is worth dropping.

News Report Just In: "Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren said Wednesday the team plans to take more X-rays of Alexander's left foot. Holmgren said Alexander wouldn't practice Wednesday, but is feeling better and hopes to play Sunday night (against the Bears)"

- I dont know about this, football players are superhuman but a broken foot healing in one day? I would pick up Morris just in case because even if Shaun does play Im sure it wont be for too long.

2006-09-27T08:02:00.000-04:00

NOT YET

We saw this guy shine at the University of Southern California. He used to be an US Magazine regular as Paris Hilton's sidekick, and we all held our breath during the 2006 NFL draft when he surprisingly wasn't drafted until pick number ten. Will we see him make his first NFL start this Sunday?? I dont think so. Coach Green of the Arizona Cardinals is going to give QB Kurt Warner one more shot at success before bringing in Rookie Matt Leinart. If you have him on your fantasy bench... keep him there for at least one more week. If you were just excited to see him play... no worries, he is coming soon to a theater near you!

2006-09-26T08:38:00.000-04:00

OH WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN

A friend of mine emailed me this morning and here is what he had to say... any thoughts? Keep in mind Harry Connick Jr. wasn't at the game just to look pretty.

OK... I am a cynic, I admit it up front...But the NFL is fixed... at least partially.There was a 0% chance for Atlanta to win this Monday Night game.The publicity is too good for the Saints to lose their home opener, too much of a feel good story. This also begs the question... was there another reason the Texans didn't draft Reggie Bush? Maybe financial incentives to make sure he went to New Orleans?I'm no conspiracy theorist or anything, nor want to pursue such lines of logic without actual proof, but they could at least try to hide it. BAH!

--MR. D. B.

2006-09-26T08:20:00.000-04:00

INJURY REPORT

Did you pick Shaun Alexander first round and bet your car, house, and 3 kids that you were gonna win this season?? If so, you may want to ask for your car and house back!!! The Seattle Seahawks will be without their MVP for at least a few weeks after Alexander finished the big win against the Giants with a broken left foot. This is a huge disappointment for many fantasy owners but make sure to leave him on your bench cause HE WILL BE BACK!!!

Chris Simms, QB for Tampa Bay Bucs, had his spleen removed yesterday. Rookie, Bruce Gradowski, will be taking his place with Tim Rattay as back up. For the 0-3 Buccaneers, this could be a blessing in disguise.

2006-09-25T09:39:00.000-04:00

Summin' up Some of Sunday

Eagles (2-1) get their pride back in San Fran after Westbrook had 3 TD's including one that came directly after the fancy flee-flicker to Reggie Brown on the opening drive

Giants (1-2) got romped against Seattle with Eli throwing 3 interceptions

Washington (1-2) shut up my sports guru and got their first win against Houston.

Carolina got their first win yesterday against the winless Tampa Bay Bucs

Brett Favre joined elite company with the 400th touchdown pass of his career against the winless Detroit Lions for the Packers first win of the season

Baltimore won yesterday gettin' their first 3-0 start since the franchise moved to Baltimore

The undefeated Cincinnati Bengals sent Pittsburgh fans home crying and officially sent Big Ben to most fantasy team benches.

2006-09-25T08:01:00.000-04:00

COMMISSIONER'S CORNER

Every Fantasy Football team owner has those 1 or 2 games a season that are "must win" games because you need to have those bragging rights. In my "all guys except me" league my "must win" games are the one against my older brother and the one against my husband (both of which i lost last season). In my all girls league where I am the commissioner, my "must win" game came yesterday against my best friend/Maid of honor. I called her up yesterday morning yelling at her to change her team as soon as possible because she still had 2 people in that were not playing this week. She struggles out of bed and makes the necessary changes in time for the 1 O' clock games, just as i suggested. She then proceeds to beat me, giving my team their first loss of the season.

"It's like meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife."

2006-09-22T08:10:00.000-04:00

60 SECOND STUDY SESSION

Read up on these few tidbits and you will be talking like a pro in no time!

The Chicago Bears have not started 3-0 since 1990
Green Bay Packers QB Brett Favre has 399 career TD passes entering Sunday's game
The Jets have not won in Buffalo since the 2002 season opener
The Tennessee Titans are averaging just over 23 mins of possession per game (Ha!)
Jacksonville is 10-1 since week 9 of last season, tops in the NFL.
The New Orleans Saints had only 3 wins last season and could match that total with a win on Monday night in the first game back at the Superdome since Hurricane Katrina
Arizona committed 22 penalties in 2 weeks and fumbled 5 snaps last week in Seattle.
New England's QB Tom Brady is 1-4 career against the Broncos and 69-17 against everyone else.
The Eagles Lead the league with 13 sacks, nearly half of last season's total.

2006-09-21T14:36:00.000-04:00

UPSET OF THE WEEK

My brother-in-law emailed me again this morning to report his choice for Upset of the Week. Please keep in mind that he and I are in disagreement with this one and even though he is a sports guru... he was wrong last week. Oh and, yes, he is still single.

He thinks Houston is gonna romp on what he considers the most overrated team in the NFL- Washington Redskins. Both teams are 0-2 and the game will be played in Texas. I personally feel that Washington is feelin the pressure of what an 0-3 start will mean for them in a division stacked with Dallas, the Eagles, and the Giants. To me this means they will play harder and with more determination. As my brother-in-law suggests... motivation is not enough, you actually need skill.

Any opinions on this?

2006-09-20T21:13:00.000-04:00

FOOTBALL 101 - Important Penalties

Offsides: This is a good term to know because there are constantly offsides penalties. This is simply when someone jumps the gun before the QB says hike. (Offsides gives the other team 5 free yards)

Pass Interference: Play the ball and not the man. If you and a receiver are both jumping for the ball and you hit him en route, that is ok. But you cannot jump at the receiver without ever looking for or attempting to get the ball. This is a huge penalty because if the QB throws the ball all the way down the field and the receiver misses it because he was interfered with, the play counts as if he caught it. Which means the offense gets to move all the way up to where he so-called caught the ball and they get a first down. So when Terrel Owens misses a big catch and freaks out at the referees looking for penalty call, that's because they want it to count as if they caught it and they want all those yards (esp if it was a big throw all the way down the field).

Class Dismissed!

2006-09-20T21:12:00.000-04:00

Online Football Gambling

I found this ad for online football betting and thought it was funny... would you be convinced??

"For those football betting couples, football betting online is a pastime they can share together. By the romantic glow of a computer screen, they can check out general football betting information together. Though some couples just wouldn’t understand the passion for football betting, this is for those football betting couples who do find a kinship in being able to submit football betting online through a website like www.hollywoodsportsbook.com without having to sneak a bet without the other noticing.

Of course, that kind of football betting date behavior is unfathomable to guys and girls who don’t think of football betting as a dating activity; however, for those football-betting lovers who also love to bet on football with their mates, it’s the perfect mix of romance, gentle teasing (“You bet on football and chose that team?!?”), and fun."

** I do not promote online gambling, but if you happen to win using my suggestions I do accept TIPS.

2006-09-20T11:23:00.000-04:00

NIK'S HOT PICKS OF THE WEEK

I would bet my job on these:

Eagles over San Fran

Baltimore over Cleveland

I would only bet my husband's job on these:

Jets over Buffalo

Seattle over Giants

Indi over Jacksonville

Washington over Houston

St Louis over Arizona

Miami over Tennesee

Chicago over Minnesota

Atlanta over New Orleans

I would leave my wallet at home:

Cincinnati over Pittsburgh

Bucs over Carolina

New England over Denver

Green Bay over Detroit

2006-09-20T11:13:00.000-04:00

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

So i figured out why women are getting more and more into football these days (besides the fact that it is a great sport). ESPN's Monday Night Football game this past week was watched by more viewers than any show in cable TV history except the 1993 Al Gore/ Ross Perot debate. Pittsburgh's shut out was seen by a record breaking 9.81 million homes.

Either women are finally starting to enjoy the sport or they are losing the ever so famous husband/wife remote control battle. Where is everyone during the president's state of the union address or during Grey's Anatomy season finale... the things that really matter???!!?!?

Who knows, but for some reason MNF takes the cake.

2006-09-19T10:13:00.000-04:00

CHEEROCRACY

Who ever said that “cheerleaders are not athletes” will totally have a change of heart once they view the first ever NFL Cheerleader Playoffs airing this September! This first ever challenge was held at Six Flags New England, Mass. Cheerleaders from 25 squads from the AFC and NFC came dressed to impressed and competed in physical challenges such as roller skating, kayaking, swimming, 100 yard dash, bungee flip, obstacle course, and other athletic events. They were also tested on their knowledge of football with various trivia challenges and exotic dance competitions.

Brrrrrr, is it cold in here? There must be some Torro's in the atmosphere.

2006-09-19T08:29:00.000-04:00

CSI: NFL DIVISION

Ohio State Running back Maurice Clarett just cannot stay out of the court room. This is the guy who sued the NFL challenging the rule that a player must be out of high school three years to be eligible for the NFL draft. The Court of Appeals ruled against Clarett, which meant that he had to wait for the 2005 draft to enter the NFL. After being chosen in the third round by the Denver Broncos and sitting out most of last season due to a groin injury he now agrees to plead guilty to aggravated robbery and carrying a concealed weapon. The deal will send him to prison for at least 3½ years and end two criminal cases against him. But dont count him out just yet, Im sure we will be seeing him perform along side Adam Sandler in The Longest Yard- part duex.

2006-09-19T08:12:00.000-04:00

FANTASY FOOTBALL FLAVA OF THE WEEK

QB Rex Grossman has been looking pretty hot these past two weeks. I dont think you can start him just yet (unless of course you have Big Ben as your starting QB) but he is a solid back up with great possibilities. Grossman threw for a career high 4 touchdowns- 289 passing yards this weekend against the Lions. The problem here is that the Bears have only played GB and Detroit so far this season so we cannot automatically conclude that Rex will Flex all season long. However what we can be sure of is that the Bears D will dominate this season keeping Rex on the field more often than not. The more chances he gets, the more plays he will make. Only 11.2 percent of fantasy team owners have Rex on their squad so I think he is a stellar free agency pick up.

2006-09-19T07:37:00.000-04:00

YOU'RE FIRED!

Whoever was in charge of the Monday Night Football schedule should've been fired last night after Pittsburgh and Jacksonville played the most boring game ever. Big Ben barely showed up and when he did actually throw the ball, his receivers looked exactly how I would look if I was playing frisbee in the dark. Granted I would probably get hit directly in the face leaving a huge red mark for everyone to see but you get my point. No big receptions, no touchdowns, and two key interceptions by Jaguars D giving them a 2-0 record to start off the season. If either of these offenses play this fabulous next week they will have no chance against Indianapolis and Cincinnati.

2006-09-18T13:04:00.000-04:00

BEST PART OF MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

THE 4 Time Emmy Award Winning THEME SONG!

This song was added to the show in 1989. It is a re-write of Williams' 1984 song "All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight." This is the first incarnation of the lyrics by Hank Williams, Jr., though the song has changed a bit over the years with the addition of new hosts, etc. Now you can sing along!!

Well it's Monday night and we're ready to rock!

Time to get all the hits, the bangs and the blocks.It's the game of the week that's comin' your way.

The Steelers and the Jaguars are ready to play.

We gotta get ready, we gotta get right

Cause Monday Night Football kicks off tonight!

So get ready. I mean, get ready.

Are you ready for some football?!

A Monday night party!

2006-09-18T10:40:00.000-04:00

OUCH

Ladies who are new to fantasy football... it is important to keep up to date on injuries after each weekend. Injury reports are not only an indication of who you should and should not play each week, but more importantly, it keeps you posted which secondary players you should pick up. This is very important strategery that new fantasy players do not always take advantage of. Yes, I know, stratgery is not a real word, but it fits well in the previous sentence so I am gonna go with it and so are you! Some no name players who were not drafted could become starters in the blink of an eye and we need to be aware of who those guys are so we can snag them before anyone else on the waiver list does. This weeks' report:

Jevon Kearse cringed as he walked off the field in OT against the Giants. I start with him because he is a defensive player which means this is only important if you have the Eagles D. The Eagles D is looking strong enough this season so far that even with Kearse being gone for the rest of the season you should still start them every week!

TO: Broken finger, Broken ego, keep him on the bench for the next 2-4 weeks but do not drop him. Ladies, if someone in your league dropped TO because of yesterdays hand injury, laugh silently to yourself and then hurry your ass up and pick him up. TO has super healing powers and will probably be back in 2 weeks, knowing him.

Cincinnati lost center Rich Braham to a knee injury, safety Dexter Jackson to an ankle injury, and linebacker David Pollack, who was taken to the hospital for evaluation of an unspecified neck injury. None of these players will produce a "must pick up" back up for your fantasy team but they are certainly things to consider if you have Carson Palmer or the defense that is playing Cincinatti next week.

2006-09-18T07:59:00.000-04:00

RECAP

Every Sunday is when football goes down,
This week was no diff as Peyton and Grossman went to town.

The Bears beat the Lions, their D was on fire,
Giants stole the "W" as it came down to the wire.

Falcons ran in circles giving the Bucs their second loss,
Oakland was left crying, "Where the F*&% is Randy Moss?"

Alexander is back as the Seahawks take the crown
Despite any injuries, the Bengals beat the Browns.

LT and the Chargers started off looking hot
Where as Daunte and the Dolphins certainly did not

Dallas beat the Redskins, not that I could stay awake
But hearing about TO's finger was the icing on my cake.

Packers lose again as NO stays undefeated
Eagles hope their OT loss will never be repeated.

New England pulled it off and conquered their rival Jets
Bryant's TD for San Fran made bookies lose their bets.

KC/Denver was quite the boring game
Longwell stars for the Vikings and creates his claim to fame

Pitt vs. Jacksonville should be an interesting fight
But what else do you expect for the game on Monday Night.

2006-09-15T07:51:00.000-04:00

LOOK, IT'S BABY SURI IN AN EAGLES JERSEY!

If you are not happy that little Hayley here (from Cherry Hill, NJ) is wearing an Eagles outfit than send me pics of your kids, nephews, or siblings decked out in NFL gear and I will be happy to post them as well.

2006-09-15T07:39:00.000-04:00

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

I dont not really like college football. There always seem to be ridiculously high scoring games which could mean one of two things. Either the offense's are really good or the defense's really suck. Seeing as how I went to Indiana University, where team spirit is high but number of W's was very low, I will have to go with the latter. However, I cannot deny my readers that may love sitting on their couch on saturday afternoons rooting for their alma mater. So for all those ladies, here are some big matchups of the weekend.

Michigan (11) at Notre Dame (2)- Michigan has a 2 game losing streak against Notre Dame so they are eager to give ND their first loss of the season.

LSU (6) at Auburn (3)- Last time these teams met LSU won because Auburn's kicker, John Vaughn missed 5 field goals. (Again, the reason i dont really like college football... no skillz!)

Florida (7) at Tennesee (13)- Florida is looking to gain control of the SEC East.

2006-09-15T07:35:00.000-04:00

UPSET OF THE WEEK

My brother-in-law texted me last night that he believes the Jets will conquer New England this weekend obviously believing that Chad Pennington is not dead yet. Now he is the kind of guy who knows everything about every player on every team in every sport, he goes undefeated in his first ever fantasy football season, BUT he gets whooped in the very first round of the playoffs. Should you trust what he says?? I will let you decide.

P.S. For my mother-in-law's sake I must report that he is single, very cute, and needs a girl who likes professional sports at least half as much as he does.

2006-09-14T19:24:00.000-04:00

HAHA
The first grade teacher in Dallas explains to her class that she is a Cowboys fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Cowboys fans too. Every hand raised except for one. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Cowboys fan," she said. "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "I'm a proud Philadelphia Eagles Fan," the girl said. The teacher asks the girl, "Why are you an Eagles Fan?" "Well, my Dad and Mom are Eagles fans, so I'm a Eagles fan, too," she responded. "That's no reason," the teacher yelled loudly, "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot? What would you be then?" The little girl smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Cowboys fan like you."

2006-09-14T19:14:00.000-04:00

HAHA

A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field. Then he noticed an empty seat in the front row right on the 50-yard line. He went down and asked the man next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The man said, "Yeah, that's my wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Lombardi days, but now my wife is dead." The fan said, " Oh, I'm sorry. It's too bad you can't find a relative to give the ticket too so you can enjoy the game together. The man replied, "Don't worry I'll find one. But right now they are all at the funeral."

2006-09-14T08:22:00.000-04:00

WHO IS THIS GUY???

Some dude wrote into the Philly Metro newspaper about a possible fantasy trade that he is actually considering. Ladies DO NOT TAKE NOTES!!! This moron was actually considering giving up Shaun Alexander for Chad Pennington and Frank Gore just because Shaun had a weak first week. Give the guy a chance!! If you are worried about having Shaun on your team... dont be. He was a top three draft pick for a reason, just be patient. As Napolian Dynamite would say... GOD!!!!!!

Someone you should worry about though... Nate Burleson woke up on Sunday for one measley catch. Seahawks were so impressed they went out and got Deion Branch.

2006-09-14T08:11:00.000-04:00

DIVISION MATCH UP OF THE WEEK

Philadelphia Eagles vs. The New York Giants

Week two is a little early for a "must win" situation but there is no doubt that this is a very important game for the Giants. The Giants are starting this season with a loss against Indianapolis, a lethal match up against the Eagles, and then a tough game 3 against Shaun Alexander and the Seahawks. I dont know if Eli will be able to handle the pressure of coming back from an 0-3 season start so Tiki better work his magic like he has in the past. Last November Tiki had 21 rushes for 112 yards against the Birds and then in December he put up 195 total yards and a touchdown. Trotter better be on his game this Sunday cause the Giants need a big win!

2006-09-13T22:20:00.000-04:00

MONOLOGUE MASCOTS

SNOOP AND BRADY IN EAGLES JERSEYS

2006-09-13T19:26:00.000-04:00

Funny Fantasy Football Names

I am the commissioner of an all girls fantasy football league and I am also a league owner in an all guys (except me) league. I am going to share with you one of our funny league names and one of our funny team names. If you do not think these are funny, you can let me know. Also, please feel free to share your funny or creative names so that everyone can enjoy.

A funny league name---> Milf and Cookies

A funniest team name---> Pittsburgh Poopy Pants

2006-09-13T18:35:00.000-04:00

FOOTBALL FOR DUMMIES

I promised you ladies that this website would not only be fun and games for those who already know about football but would also be educational for those women who are just learning. Every Thursday I will hold a "football for dummies" session. And each week will be a different topic. This week's topic is:

Defensive Linemen

The defensive line are the men on the team that does not have the ball that are up in the front and their main goal is to let no one get by them. There are 3 main D-line positions... nose tackle, defensive tackle, and defensive end.

nose tackle is the guy who is dead center on the line of scrimmage (the line where the ball is when the play starts). This guy is extremely important but gets no recognition because he never gets any sacks or tackles. So basically it is all work and no play. Oh and most of the time they are large and in charge... aka fattest men alive!! (Apparently NFL and College football teams do not use nose tackles anymore, instead they mostly just have a 4 man line that consists of 2 d-tackles and 2 d-ends.)
defensive tackles are the guys who stand in between the grunt man mentioned above and the defense end mentioned below. They are smaller in size then the nose tackle but at 290lbs I sure as hell wouldnt want to be on the bottom in that relationship.
defensive ends are the guys (across from the offensive guards) who are on the end. Hence the name, defense END. Their job is to flail their arms around and run as fast as they can towards the QB. The key here is to basically scare the QB out of the pocket and make him throw on the run therefore screwing up his aim.

One last thing about the d-line. They do not need to be fast, but they DO need to be quick. In other words, they are not in a hurry to get down the field they just simply need to have cat like reflexes so that they change their direction depending on the play.

Class Dismissed!

2006-09-13T14:57:00.000-04:00

INTERESTED IN OTHER SPORTS BLOGS??

If so, check out... http://www.arrowheadpride.com/

2006-09-13T12:47:00.001-04:00

I TAKE THAT BACK

Im sorry for misinforming you but Deion Branch probably will not be playing this week for Seattle so for all you fantasy ladies, do not unleash the beast until week 3!

2006-09-13T12:47:00.000-04:00

HAHA

The NFL announced today that for financial reasons, they had to eliminate one team from the league. So they've decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, therefore saving jobs. They will be known as the TAMPACKS. Unfortunately, they're only good for one period and have no second string.

2006-09-13T12:38:00.000-04:00

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

Minnesota Vikings released Todd Stinkston. Poor guy, i dont think they even had time to order him a uniform with his name on it.

2006-09-13T10:53:00.000-04:00

E-A-G-L-E-S

Just so that everyone is well aware... I am a Philadelphia Eagles Fan. I love fantasy football, and i like watching all games, but I only own one jersey and I only root for one team! So this is your chance to talk some trash, bet me some cash, or for birds fans to reminisce about players like James Trash.

GO BIRDS!

2006-09-13T08:08:00.000-04:00

NIK'S HOT PICKS OF THE WEEK

Ladies if you are planning on putting a 10 spot on red or a 50 spot on the over under check out these recommendations!

Must Pick

Cincinnati over Cleveland

St Louis over San Fran

Balt over Oakland

Indi over Houston

AND OF COURSE YOU MUST ALWAYS PICK THE EAGLES!!!!!

May want to Consider

New England over Jets

Dallas over Washington

Miami over Buffalo

DISCLAIMER: Futbolgoddess is not liable for any financial losses that may result from following these recommendations!

2006-09-13T08:03:00.000-04:00

FASHION WEEK

NYC does it again with red carpets and famous appearances during 2006's Fashion Week. You'd expect to see Lindsey Lohan, possibly an Olsen twin and maybe even baby Shiloh but to everyone's surprise in walks... CURTIS MARTIN??? What was NY Jets late star RB thinking when he showed up with 76'ers star Chris Webber? Good thing he is injured cause otherwise im sure his teammates would have beaten him up in the locker room for that publicity stunt!

2006-09-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

ATHELETES OR ACTORS??

They may be star QB's on the field but can they pull it off on the big screen?? Choose your favorite... Dan Marino reading straight off his cue cards in "Ace Ventura" or Brett Favre trying to crack a joke or two in "Something about Mary"

2006-09-12T18:12:00.000-04:00

This guy is not INVINCIBLE in my playbook... dont you wish he really was in the NFL?

2006-09-12T16:04:00.000-04:00

FANTASY FOOTBALL FLAVA OF THE WEEK

And the winner is... Mr. Deion Branch!

Ladies, if you have Deion Branch on your fantasy football team and had him warmin up your bench this past weekend it is time to brush that dirt off his shoulders and get him back on your starting line-up. Deion has been traded to Seattle and will be enjoying their number 1 WR spot. Granted it may take him a week or two to really get down and dirty so you could decide to bench him for one more week. However, if you do decide to ignore the advice of the FutbolGoddess and Branch has a stellar game, it will feel like a kick in the nuts from your mother. Now i dont know exactly how that feels but i can imagine it aint pretty!

2006-09-12T12:13:00.000-04:00

Jerry Porter is like school on Saturdays... NO CLASS!

Jerry Porter was seen laughing and pumping his fist as Aaron Brooks (his own QB) was sacked for the 7th time last night in Oakland's Monday Night disaster. He has been at odds with his coaching staff for months now and has been demanding a trade.

The TO BO is starting to rub off on other players... word to the wise, never ever dis your QB or you will be shot.

2006-09-12T10:18:00.000-04:00

Football Gossip

Um, was anyone else wondering why Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were at the Redskins game last night?? Is Monday Night Football the new "save my ass publicity stunt" of 2006? Who is gonna be next week? Mel Gibson?

2006-09-12T10:04:00.000-04:00

Fantasy Tip of the Day

RIP Trent Green

Fantasy ladies, if you started Trent Green this week it is time to start thinking about a back up QB. But dont fret, he is not actually dead, so you may not want to drop him just yet. However he probably will not be revived until week 4. Kansas City has a bye week the week after next so the Chiefs will most likely sit Green for next week's game so that he can have a two week recovery period. In the meantime if you do not have a back up QB now is great time to seek a trade or to pick one up.

2006-09-11T19:00:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the Football Monologues.

Please feel free to post questions (no matter how lame or complex they may be) or funny football stories or advice for those women out there who are experiencing their first fantasy football season. I am both the commissioner of an all girls fantasy league and a team owner in an all guys except me league. I will start posting advice, questions/answers, etc so please check back daily to make sure you are caught up on the latest.